i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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