Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
