First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
