To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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