Buhtt sex?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
