hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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