That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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