Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
