Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Pants are for mortals
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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