Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
