Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
