Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I believe in your delicious
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
