this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
3pm strippers are depressing
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
