Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
