Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
