So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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