we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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