we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
