he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
