She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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