i permit you to call me
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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