I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
