Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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