Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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