I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
