Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
