Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
