Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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