dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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