Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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