Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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