Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
