Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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