The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
