i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think your dad took our porno
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
