Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize