You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
