living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
