After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it hurts more in the daytime
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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