i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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