why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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