is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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