Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
