so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
