Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
