She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
