Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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