Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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