She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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