The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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